7 Day Guide to Get From
“I’m very attracted to you, too”
to “Yes, I’ll marry you”

1 Advance preparation: promise extensive sight seeing, training opportunities (e.g. “professional window cleaning”), gold stars for (unnamed) achievements, etc.

2 Greet her with flowers from a florist — and a chaste kiss on the cheek.

3 Provide your own home cooked dinner on the first night (even if you have to bring it in from a restaurant and reheat it — but hide the cartons).

4 Have a special greeting gift (Glass Wax for window cleaning is a proven performer).

5 Fake an illness to get sympathy — but not one that takes you totally out of action.

6 Tour spots of loveliness (be sure to sit in chilly spots so she needs your arm around her).

7 Take her to church for God’s blessing.

8 Arrange cocktails with friends to help her to become comfortable with the native population.

9 Include rainy days to force closeness.

10 Engage in lots of cuddling in front of the TV or whatever (Note: no need for TV to be on).

11 Tell her you love her and talk freely about marriage as if it's a fait accompli.

12 Ply her with good French champagne.

13 Kneel and propose (be sure to tell her to hush long enough for the proposal but do NOT say “shut up” under any circumstances — unless your leg starts to cramp then you can always say you meant “help me up”).

14 Continue with the French champagne!!!!