July, 1999
Volume 4, Issue 1

WELCOME subscribers, new and old, to the first issue of Volume 4 of Routon’s Rousing Reports! And the theme is cruise, cruise, cruise. Well, actually, hospital, cruise, cruise, hospital, and cruise.

The hospital part hasn’t been major. Just the old “afib” (arterial fibrillation) problem recurring after four years, probably as a result of an ill advised reduction of medication during a period of high stress. However, if foresight was as good as hindsight I’d have bought a bunch of IBM stock when it was (split adjusted) at $24. The best news is that the last “afib” incident corrected itself just like in 1994 after which I was OK until the medication reduction last fall. Yes, I’ve learned. With the new medication, I feel better than I have in years.

So back to the cruises. Just to remind you, the first was over the holidays with Bill, the second was 57 days from Los Angeles to Singapore, and the third was my “freebie” eleven day cruise with David in April. All three on the QE2 which I now consider as my own private yacht. Frankly the first one was a bit rough emotionally, but it (1) helped me prepare for the 57 day cruise and (2) taught me that men (nothing personal, Bill) make lousy stateroom companions. You have to share the bathroom and still have no one to cuddle.

As always, any story about the World Cruise – and the 57 day cruise was a bit over half of the World Cruise – is more about people than places. Oh, there were many places; some new, some were revisits, some were fascinating and others “why are we here”. But the real story, the real memories are the people. Some were friends from 1997, some are new friends and a few were acquaintances in 1997 and are now friends. Most notable among the latter is Lillian Kenney from Florida. She was one of the nameless “dancing ladies” from the 1997 Report and is now a very dear friend indeed. This was Lillian’s 19^th World Cruise. She comes primarily to dance and is easily the best. If you can’t dance with Lillian, you just can’t dance. (Maybe I should give up trying to do the Cha Cha. Even with Lillian’s private coaching I just can’t seem to get it right – or maybe more champagne will help.)

Then there is Ted Allen, an English gem from 1997. Now Ted had promised to teach me all he knew about being on the singles scene and he’s good. At 83 he has slowed just a bit; he now has no more than one lady going at a time. And he did give me his lines, but I just couldn’t say, “Would you like to see my stateroom?” and keep a straight face. I guess I just don’t have what it takes to achieve my lifetime goal of being a dirty old man (deep sigh here).

Among the ladies, there were dancers and non-dancers. Some of my favorites include the two Margarets, Margaret O’Shannessey from Melbourne and Margaret Cole from England, wonderful companions on both the dance floor and for a coffee at the late night buffet after the dancing was over. And the non–dancers like Rusty Grobe and Marion Morgan. Rusty was a delightful and charming table companion for most of the 57 days, almost weakened for one dance, and I hope will be my good friend in Pismo Beach, California. After all, she is one of my “Shinto wives” thanks to the tourist center in Yokohama. Marion is from Georgia and she and I “didn’t dance” every samba that they played. She is also the ship’s champion and consultant on shopping for fake Rolex watches in Bali and Thailand. She has been widowed for some years and claims she is looking for a husband, BUT he must meet her high standards: he must have ten million dollars, be at least 92 years old, and preferably in ill health! Alas, I failed to qualify.

And, of course, the Browns, Arthur and Beryl, from 1997 were there and were as delightful as ever for tea and a quiet chat. One of the new couples – new to me, at least – was Jorma and Marta Sihvola from Finland with marvelous and true stories of their fascinating adventures, like driving their own car from Finland south clear through Turkey and Syria and then west across Egypt into Libya before taking the ferry to Italy to return home. Another was Harry and Lillian Roth from Los Angeles. Harry was the official rabbi on board and I guess he was in 1997 as well. He claims he won’t be back for the World Cruise 2000, but Lillian wants him to do it, and I have promised to break both his legs while in LA if he isn’t on board. He is blessed with a delightful sense of humor – and with Lillian. I did have a small problem with Lillian when I asked her to dance. She mistook me for one of the gentleman hosts; however, I pointed out that I might be a gentleman but I was no host and forgave her.

One very special couple and new friends for sure are Hy and Henni Gross from Florida. They were on board to celebrate their 50 years of marriage and were delightful and special. Henni kept saying, “I have a friend who is just right for you.” So I retained her services as my own shatchin or matchmaker. Unfortunately, she failed to produce in a timely manner so I had to terminate her contract for non–performance. And after I had already paid in full by teaching her how to send email messages from the ship’s computer room!

Of course, there were also old friends whom I visited while passing through their cities. The Kirstes in Los Angeles who took me for a lovely dinner and then got me back to the ship on time even though she sailed an hour earlier than I thought. Seeing Roger and Aggie Parlee in Honolulu is always fun and is becoming a tradition. In Sydney, Will and Heather Lee and their daughter met me for dinner – and just barely. I got their email saying they’d be dockside at 6 PM at precisely 6:10 PM, but fortunately they were still waiting. And, of course, in Melbourne with help from Don and Lorna Lupton, it was like old home week with lunch at their house including friends from England, the Lobleys, (and with a family of 20–25 kangaroos just outside the Lupton’s back fence) followed by tea on board with Keith and Pam Doherty from the 1997 World Cruise, As usual for Melbourne, MUCH champagne was consumed.

There were so many. Nina Brooks, the ship’s harpist and my other “Shinto wife”. (Yes, I am an unofficial “Shinto bigamist”.) Desmond Pearce, the vicar from the 1997 newsletter, and his traveling companion, Gil Turner. Keith Hannett, a true gentleman as well as a gentleman host at my dinner table until Yokohama. Ron and Kath Bell, a lovely couple and my first friends in New Zealand. Pat Nance, a great lady from England who wasn’t going to let her recent hip replacement or her doctors slow her down. She took her cane and “charged”. And finally, Kent Kauffman, the on–board cruise sales manager who did try to find me a lady companion for World Cruise 2000 (and YES, I am going – NY to NY for 104 days) but with only marginal success. Again, there were so many wonderful and delightful people and I’m sure I’ve forgotten as many as I’ve remembered. During the cruise I sometimes felt alone and lonely, like the glass was half empty, but when I put together a list of people to invite to a little farewell party, when I really stepped back and evaluated, I realized God had filled my glass to much more than half full. Yes, you visit many places on the World Cruise, but it’s the people, the World Cruise “family” that makes you want to come back year after year.

But let’s do talk about a few places. First, the most beautiful – easily the island of Moorea in the French Polynesians and clearly visible from a very commercial Tahiti. Moorea is much like the northern shore of Kauai in the Hawaiian Islands, lush and green but with peaks more rugged than Kauai. It’s breathtaking as you sail to an anchorage point on a bright, sunny morning. Moorea is the island where the hotel “huts” are built out over the water on stilts – you’ve seen the ads. A couple of us took an island jitney to one of these, but, unfortunately, the currents were too strong that day to safely swim to the outer reef, so the snorkeling was just fair. Another time?

Quite in contrast was Tonga where the snorkeling was great but the island is soooo flat and the only things beautiful are the people. Oh not physical beauty but “friendly and warm” beautiful. I wanted some of the very colorful stamps for which they are known, not for mailing but for a friend who collects. I told the lady in the post office to just sell me whatever my couple of dollars would buy. She smiled and patiently selected various ones for my approval. Even the taxi drivers were gentle, good natured, and honest to boot! There were big signs everywhere regarding the millenium. Not Y2K fears, they’re far too laid back for that, but advertising for Tonga which is JUST west of the international dateline and is where the new millenium will begin. It could be interesting to be on Tonga then, but I understand that already there is no room left at the inn.

Most unique was probably the Sultanate of Brunei. For the very few of you who may not know immediately where that is, it’s on the northeast corner of the island of Borneo and shares the island with both Indonesia and Malaysia. It’s been there for 500 years and they are currently on sultan number 29. So naturally when he built his mosque he included 29 domes covered with GOLD leaf. Until Billy Gates came along, the sultan was the richest man in the world due to the oil of Brunei. But unlike many countries where the ruler takes all and the people starve, the 78,000 people of Brunei are included in the wealth of the country. Now the sultan (and wife #1 of 2) do have the largest house. 1,788 rooms, or 300 more than the Vatican, an underground garage for the sultan’s 400 antique cars and limousines, air conditioned stables for the polo ponies and other horses, both a soccer and a polo field (but not inside), a banquet room that seats 4,000 (on the day following Ramadan ALL of the people are invited for dinner at the palace), and 256 bathrooms. Oh yes, the palace for wife #2 is not as large – it does pays to be number one! I thought about making an offer, but when I considered how much effort it would be to clean the 256 bathrooms, I decided I wasn’t that interested.

The mosques were beautiful and the palace interesting although not really viewable, but the most interesting thing in Bandar Seri Begawan, the main city of Brunei, is the “water village”. 30,000 of the 78,000 people of Brunei live in these shack looking houses on pilings in the Brunei River. There are schools and mosques on the pilings and, reportedly, the interiors of the homes are well decorated and comfortable. They have electricity, refrigerators, and television with both satellite dishes and antennas. They park their cars on land and use water taxis to come and go. However, they all share one flush toilet, the river!! Fortunately, it is tidal so it flushes twice a day! Interestingly, the sultan has built and offered apartments on land and there were no takers. He is now trying to build a new water village downstream (perhaps not the best location when the water flushes out) with a sanitary system to see if they will move to that.

The most fascinating award has to go to Vietnam and Saigon. Of course, the official guides say Ho Chi Minh City along with the rest of the “people’s propaganda”, but even they admit that the main district of the ten making up the city is named Saigon and thus the city is still commonly called Saigon. And it is the orient with a French spice. The streets are filled with bicycles, pedicabs, and motor bikes holding up to three people plus cargo! While there are some trucks and cars, much of the goods are transported on “tricycle pick up trucks” powered by human legs and carrying everything from massive stacks of charcoal to 12 foot long wooden beams. The motor bike and bicycle repair shops and even some light manufacturing of parts is on the wide sidewalks proper with the parts display hanging on the wall behind. Little shops and street food vendors everywhere and vendors to tourists!!! Everything from T–shirts to lacquer ware with the vendors on their motor bikes carrying their merchandise and following the tour buses ready to set up shop at every stop. Yes, the bustle is of the orient but the wide, tree lined avenues are French. There is a fascinating flavor unlike sanitized Singapore or modern Hong Kong. The people are poor by our standards with a pedicab operator averaging about $2 per day, but they’re friendly and, good news, English is the second language. This is a place to go but not on a ship’s tour. Another time I’d like to spend days there, hire a pedicab by the day, and just get out to see the people and life with camera at the ready. Exciting and fascinating!

To digress from “places” for a moment, just before our arrival in Vietnam we had some lectures by a man who was the British ambassador to Vietnam after the war ended in 1975. He said that he too had believed in the domino theory that justified our war, but after he had been in Vietnam for a couple years he learned why we had no chance for success. The people, north and south, didn’t want the divided country that had been left by the western imposed peace plan when the French pulled out in the mid–1950’s. In fact, the country couldn’t live with it since the food production is in the south and the manufacturing economy was in the north. The people didn’t care what the government philosophy was; they wanted one country. Thus, even the people in the south, except for those with wealth or power to lose, were against us in their hearts. Yet another example of the mistakes we make when we fail to realize that other people do NOT think like us or care about our values for their lives.

But back to places and to Pattaya in Thailand! Been there before, done that, and have the tailored clothes (and maybe the T–shirt also), but I was delighted to get back. It is another fascinating town and the Thais are so friendly. Let me give you an example. I was on the first shuttle bus from the port to town headed for the tailor shop to replace my blue blazer (jacket, not car) that has a couple hundred thousand miles on it. Unfortunately when I got to the tailor’s at 9:25 I found he didn’t open til 10 AM. So I asked if I could sit in the lobby of a small, Thai (read low priced and questionable quality) hotel to wait. It was OK. Then as I was sitting there reading the ship’s paper I was approached by this lovely young lady who spoke little English but finally made me realize that she was greatly concerned about my being alone and perhaps even with no one to share my day, my bed, and my room. However, by that time it was 10 AM and I had to leave her and her kind offer to keep me from being lonely. Now, wasn’t that friendly!

I did get my blazer the following day and had another NEW experience. (No, I didn’t see the young lady again.) I had my first ride ever on the back of a motor bike. First, they had to take me to a bank to cash some travelers’ checks and it was too far to walk in the heat. Then it was new clothes over the handle bars and me on the back and off to the shuttle bus hotel stop. It was OK, but NO, David, I am not going to ride on your motor cycle!

Pattaya is an interesting town. It’s tourist “attractions” go back to the days when it was a big R & R spot for the American troops and now it gets lots of German tourists including tours that are blatantly advertised as sex tours. Many of the cheap hotels have prices on signs like “rooms 200 Baht (about $5–6) with fan, 300 Baht with A/C”. And there was the one hotel I noticed that was over a hair dressers and was named the “InterCourt Hotel” (Rooms by the hour maybe?) They have clubs for boys and clubs for girls. It’s also the home of the TV show – that’s TransVestite, not NBC or CBS. I’ve never been in town at night, but Marion (see above) tells me that the TV shows prove the country is in trouble when the boys fully dressed as girls are better looking than the real girls. However, except for pick pockets or having a drink with more kick than you might expect while in a hotel room with one of the friendly young ladies, it is quite safe. And in the daytime, it is the number one spot for quality brand name knock offs like Verace, Laurant, Polo, Rolex, etc. Again, Marion is my expert on that.

And there was Hong Kong, one of my two favorite cities in the world, where four of us seniors did two of my favorite things: the Star Ferry and a long double decker tram ride for a total of 50 cents for all four of us! I sensed minor changes since my last visit when it was still British, but the bustle is still the same, dinner with the Hy and Henni at the Hong Kong Hotel was still first rate, and silk ties can still be had for HK$10 or about US $1.25. It was just after the Chinese New Year and some of the decorative lights on the buildings – like 30 stories tall – were still on display. Still a great place to go.

Next year we do not go to Japan and I will miss it. Yes, it’s really too early in the year and too cold, but the Japanese are such good hosts. Examples: in Yokohama the exhibits and functions including a ceremonial tea and the Shinto wedding dress and pictures, in Nagoya being guests at the wonderful aquarium and on the Antarctic ice breaker museum with no charge, and the fireworks on the dock as we left, just to say goodbye. It doesn’t happen in the US. My two “Shinto wives” and I had a great time looking for buttons and birthday cards in a BIG, “non–tourist” mall. The clerks didn’t speak much English, but the information booth girls did. Just how would a Japanese trio make out in a US or UK mall – think about it. We also went for Chinese food (yes, in Yokohama) for lunch. AFTER we had ordered we thought to check. Despite the ads on TV here, they did not take VISA or American Express nor did they want dollars. Oops!! In the end they took the yen my “wives” had and some dollars from me. Little English but lots of smiles and so very friendly. Yes, I will miss the port calls in Japan.

The poignant award has to be split between the sailing from Melbourne as with tears in my eyes I cast the last of Jeannette’s streamers towards the 1,000 people dockside at midnight, and an event on the ice breaker in Nagoya. A local man, somewhat younger than I, dressed in full suit and tie, and with limited English, stopped me and asked me if I was American. When I said yes, I was, he proceeded to tell me how after the war he and his family would have perished if it had not been for American aid. He just wanted to say thank you – and after all these years. We reap rewards we may never see when we are kind, when we truly do unto others as we would have them do unto us.

So what else did I do on the cruise. Well, I finally saw the Southern Cross (the Big Dipper is better) and the eclipse of the sun on February 16^th. Several of us used a welder’s eye shade helmet to safely watch it. He kept asking for it back so he could work, but we managed to see enough. VERY impressive. And there were the dance lessons and I even have started to try to learn to play bridge. Come to think of it, I may learn bridge sooner than I do the Tango or Cha Cha. But as the old Brooklyn Dodger fans (and the Red Sox fans for that matter) say, “Wait til next year!”

Yes, my friends, since I closed the last issue and volume, God has truly walked with me. Thus, my new journey and this new volume has begun and begun well. With the information in the side bar in mind, I change my closing only slightly. May a loving God walk with us – and with you. Amen.

Jerry